the perfect pair<3

Valsah is the ship between my precious babygirl Val Sigan (AKA my shameless self insert oc) and Baek Saheon, my beautiful wife! I'm deeply obsessed with them and think about them 24/7. They mean the world to me and are very personal! Unfortunately, I'm uncomfortable seeing other Saheon yumeships unless they're my friends'... It's really embarrassing;; but I love Solsah and other fanon ships!!! Ok anyway this page is dedicated to ranting about my self indulgent oc x canon

there will be spoilers here, but they'll be censored like this~ if you hover over that redacted text, you can see the words underneath!

so who is val sigan...

I'm glad you asked! Sigan is my precious daughter. AKA my self insert oc who I love very dearly and hold close to my heart! This is her (art by Nyansea)

Sigan is a Bureau Rescue Agent on Hyunmoo Team 3. She's also an employee of Daydream Inc. in F-Squad as a spy. Her respective code names are Agent Crush and Santokki (Mountain Rabbit.) She's 27 years old and her birthday is March 10.

She's a lively woman on the taller side. She carries herself with a girlish charm and doesn't tend to stand still for very long. She gives off an eager but well-intentioned, naive energy. She's extremely pale, making the natural blush on her cheeks, shoulders, and joints appear more prominent. If not for her bright smile, she'd almost seem sickly. Moles are scattered across her body, though the most notable are under her right eye and the left corner of her mouth. She's somewhat flat-chested and likes to wear cute clothing - usually including skirts, frills, or lace, and accessories. Her eyes are slightly downturned, with grayish blue irises. Her hair is dark brown and she typically wears it in a half-up, half-down style; a shoulder-length bob and hair buns that lead to long pigtails. It's quite thick and on the fluffy side.

As a result of her sheltered childhood and unrestricted internet access, Sigan has never blended in with most people or abided by regular social cues. Despite Korea's culture, which tends to ostracize those outside the norm, Sigan has always followed her own whims instead. To her college friends or family, it makes her seem careless or unprepared; they often worry about her because of her inability to function as a 'normal societal member.' But Sigan doesn't see a problem with it. To her, it's simple. She dresses this way because she likes to. She acts like this because she wants to. Though, saying she's careless or underprepared isn't exactly untrue. Sigan is almost comically naive in some areas, but she always has the same mentality of, 'I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. I'll figure it out eventually.' This usually leads to heavy procrastinating or relying on the people around her to carry her through situations in daily life.

At some point, she learned that the most efficient way to keep up in a world that wouldn't slow down to help her catch up, was to ride off of other people's coattails. This is where she learned to use her own demeanor to her advantage. As a cute, 'different' girl, she could cater to heartstrings and fantasies alike. If that meant surviving another day as an adult, she would gladly do so—even if she felt a bit guilty for shamelessly clinging onto other people. This eventually ends up as her main survival strategy in Daydream Inc.

However, as a Bureau Agent, she's surprisingly competent compared to her usual impression. She has an extremely strong, rigid sense of morals that she abides by, and will try to save anyone in need of rescuing regardless of the risk. As a result, she's developed self-sacrificial tendencies. She has a savior complex and thinks she has to be the one to fix everything all the time. She lives by the moral rule of: "Hurt nobody. If you hurt anyone, you're a bad person. (*With the exception of self defense)"

Though, this isn't because the act of hurting someone itself is bad. This is because of Sigan's unique relationship with grief, as a result of her late mother's death when she was a young teenager. As a result, she sees harming someone as selfish, because if you hurt one person, you're automatically causing pain to the surrounding people who care for that person. Their parents, friends, loved ones... If you hurt someone and cause grief or stress to others as a result, you're unforgiveable.

and what about valsah??

Baek Saheon and Val Sigan are childhood friends! Specifically, they met at the Jisan Village Festival when they're kids. Val's family visited annually, and while Saheon wasn't very social - He hated the village and the festival. Why wouldn't he resent the outsiders who could come and go freely? Val's wide-eyed persistence managed to break down his walls eventually.

But they could only see each other for as long as the festival lasted: four days a year. Jisan was only open to outsiders during the festival, after all. When it was over, Val would return to her normal life, and Saheon would have no choice but to stay. Due to the circumstance of their relationship, you might think their relationship wouldn't develop easily. But in reality, they were very close. Every time they reunited, it was as if they'd never been separated at all.

Perhaps it was because Val was an outsider that Saheon was able to connect with her. She didn't know the true horrors of Jisan. She didn't know how tainted Saheon's blood was purely from association to this town. She didn't know how awful his life actually was. With Val, Saheon could live out his own escapist fantasy. She was a dream he could play pretend within, and when the festival ended, it was like he'd wake up again.

Saheon would never tell Val the truth. He wanted to keep her naivety in tact. Not for her sake - but because he wanted to continue pretending he was a normal person through her. He needed to be cast in the light of her innocence. It made him feel like his own person, instead of someone who only belonged to his village.

"In a cult, keeping something personal hidden is nearly impossible." But to Saheon, Val was his. Personal and hidden. Because she was only there for four days a year, and nobody else in his town knew her like he did. She was his only personal belonging, while he himself was a blonging to other people.

One year, Saheon learned of their joint friend - Jihan's - plan to rig the drawing. Jihan wanted Val to draw the golden stick and become the village offering. He believed it was the most pure thing a person could do, and he wanted that for Val. But Saheon understood how disgusting their village was. And he didn't want Val to die. Saheon's entire fantasy shattered then. This village had already taken everything from him. It was the reason he couldn't live a normal life. Now it would try to take her too? He didn't want Val to die. So he did the only thing he could think of: he called the Bureau before Val could draw from the basket.

That was the last time they saw each other as kids. Val was saved by the Bureau and, as a result of amnestics, forgot all about the village she used to visit and the boy she used to be friends with. She grew up to become a Bureau agent as well, just like the agents who rescued her. It wasn't until she infiltrated Daydream Inc. as a spy that she met Saheon again in the same batch.

They end up in a complicated relationship stemming from their past that only Saheon remembers - and Val Sigan, who is forced to confront her morals while looking at Saheon. Saheon huts people unecessarily, but he also believes it's for his own survival. Sigan's ideals dictate that someone who hurts others in self defense is justified. If someone thinks they're doing this in self defense - if someone is lashing out in fear and pain - how does she judge that person? She thinks she can fix and reform him. It's self-destructive.

...Sigan herself has a lot more lore but this is everything I can recap that's relevant to Valsah without this becoming any longer than it already is...

MORE ON THEIR DYNAMIC

Saheon and Sigan were both raised in small, rural, religious towns. Of course, Saheon's situation was more serious, having grown up in a cult, but their ultimately, it led to the same thing. They both learned to utilize themselves as their most valuable tools. As in, they both have the same tendency to fake or exagerrate their demeanors for their own advantage.

Saheon is notoriously weak against the strong; He rolls over to people he deems a threat to avoid being a target, and he sucks up to them for any chance of benefit. He's climbed up the social and corporate ladder by faking work relationships with people he could care less about - and in his hometown, he survived by carefully not angering the adults around him. Sigan has always been slower than other people when it comes to advancing; she's not incompetent, but she somehow ends up lagging behind every time. She learned that the most efficient way to keep up with other people was to ride off of their coattails. As a "different, cute" girl she could "shamelessly" cling onto others for her own sake.

But where they differ harshly is their morals.

Saheon may be weak against the strong - but he's strong against the weak. If he sees a hint of weakness in someone, he notes them as an easy target. He becomes the same kind of strong person he's always trying to avoid being hurt by, in hurting others. If it means his own survival, he'll push someone else into danger without hesitation. If it means securing a valuable item, he'll lead someone into their death in a heartbeat. He'll leave someone to die if they're useless, and he's not above intimidating those "below" him. Does he get genuine enjoyment out of this? No. Saheon isn't a sadist. His vicious nature comes from his character as an extreme survivalist. To Saheon, it's either him or them. He can't trust someone enough to view them as on the same team - not truly. It's those who are useful and those who aren't. If he shows weakness, he'll be as good as the people he exploits, and then the people just like him will tear him apart. It's what he's been inadvertantly taught since childhood, growing up in a cutthroat environment disguised by its hospitality.

Sigan, on the otherhand, would sacrifice herself in a heartbeat if it meant saving another person. She wants to erase the feeling of grief entirely. After witnessing her mother's death, and seeing the pain of the world all around her throughout her life, she developed a sense of strict black and white morals. The idea of inflicting pain onto someone's loved ones by hurting them is inexcusable in her eyes. It's completely selfish. wWich is why she'll use herself as the barrier in between that pain. To prevent someone else experiencing the same thing she did, she'll throw herself into the line of fire without hesitation, despite the hipocrysy of it; After all, if she died, wouldn't it hurt the people around her? But acknowledging that would break the fragile morals her world is built on. It makes her both a great and a terrible Bureau agent.

to Saheon, Sigan is someone unobtainable; She's pure compared to him. He would taint her with his hands. And while he wouldn't usually care about that, because where she is selfless, he's selfish, it's also for selfish reasons that he doesn't want to taint her. Namely, that he doesn't want to ruin the first image of freedom he was ever given as a child. Sigan, who he met as kids - who became his image of what it was like to live outside.

Sigan doesn't remember any of their shared history together. From her perspective, they met at Daydream Inc. in the same batch of rookies. Sigan herself has an unconventional view on Daydream employees compared to most Bureau members who... aren't fond of them, to say the least. She feels compassion for them as people, and even if she's strictly against what they do, can't bring herself to hate them unfairly. She judges them on a case-by-case basis after witnessing their individual actions with her own eyes. Her first impression of Saheon is watching him try to gouge someone's eye out to ensure his own survival.

Yet, she still gives him her handkerchief for his own eye during orientation - because she doesn't think any violence, excluding self defense, is justified. Because even if she's disgusted by Saheon's brutality, she also felt sympathy for his screams outside of the train. To Saheon, it's like seeing a ghost. Sigan, who he called the Bureau to rescue years ago. Sigan, who doesn't remember him. Sigan, who's still the same as he remembers her being. The picture perfect image of morality. Handing him a handkerchief after seeing him hurt someone recklessly. Showing him kindness despite everything.

Surely he'd be happy, right? to see his symbol of freedom after all these years - but he's not. He's terrified. The one person who can cause a crack in his defenses... The one person who has the potential to make him show weakness, when weakness is the ultimate pathway to pain... is his co-worker. He's cold to her because he doesn't want to get attached again. Little does he know, this only makes Sigan even more curious about him - and he won't be able to shake her off that easily this time.

Sigan can't excuse what Saheon does to people. but she thinks, naively, that she can fix him. Despite everything, she finds herself falling in love with him. Or, more accurately - falling in love with the idea of a person who gives her purpose. Someone perpetually broken who she can continue putting back together again and again. She'll try to fix him even if it slowly becomes selfish on her end too. Saheon, on the other hand, still can't let her in the same way. But he can't bring himself to completely push her away either. He's terrified with no way to show it, and he definitely won't let himself confront it.

When Saheon shoves Sigan away, she laughs it off. when Saheon can't look at her because it reminds him too much of watching her back retreating from him years ago, she doesn't say anything. When he slips out of bed in the middle of the night because being held by her is too suffocating, she wakes up and pretends not to. But it can't keep going like this forever.

In the end, Sigan will always be a Bureau member, and Saheon will always be a Daydream employee. They'll always have contrasting morals, and no matter how hard Sigan tries, she'll never be able to change the nature that defines him. There will always be secrets between them, no matter how hard both of them ignore it.